Had a challenging day recently? Can you relate to what parents have said to me this month?

“I’m so tired of the fighting with school people. If I didn’t spend all this time fighting I could actually be doing something else with my day.”

“Why is it that my husband gets to take the business trips and I’m the one left to take care of the kids and deal with the melt-downs when our home schedule changes?”

“If I have to be on hold one more time when I’m trying to make an appointment for my son, I am going to scream! I’d give anything for an assistant to make all the phone calls and keep track of scheduling everything I have to do.”

Whew! Makes you wonder how we keep it together each day, doesn’t it? We’ve all heard that it’s important to take care of ourselves. Yeah, yeah, we know that, but it’s hard to do! There is, however, a simple exercise that works for me, and I want to share it with you.

Before going to bed each evening, take five minutes to jot down three things that went well that day AND why they went well. They don’t have to be earth-shattering events; for example, here was my list from last night:

What went well: It was great getting out today to see the Lego movie. Why it went well: I gave myself permission to not work for a few hours and instead create another happy memory of being with Nicole and Jack.

What went well: Jim called on his way home from the basketball game, said he was at the store and wanted to make sure he was picking up everything we needed. Why it went well: He is a thoughtful guy who cares about us.

What went well: Dylan and I had a good time making dinner together. Why it went well: I let Dylan choose what we had for dinner and the time he wanted to help cook it.

Do this for a week and I think you’ll notice that things are going well in your life! Do it for 21 days and by then it will have become a positive new habit. There’s even greater power in this strategy when you record your experiences. Grab a notebook or journal to be used just for this activity, or open a new document on your computer for the “What Went Well and Why Exercise.” You can change your brain’s pattern of focusing on negative experiences to embracing and appreciating the positive experiences that happen day-in and day-out.

Bonus: When you’re having a really bad day, open up your notebook and read all the previous entries…you’ll smile.

The BIGGEST Bonus: What if IEP teams spent more time discussing what went well with a student, why it went well, and how it can be replicated in other classrooms and with other teachers? I think we would have students experiencing so much more success at school – they would be happy, safe, and learning.